Growing up, weddings always seemed so magical. The lights, the glittering ball gown, the music, the delicious food, the romance-most young girls can’t help but dream of their special day and their own prince charming. As we get older we start to write out our plans, we rip out the pages of magazines, and create wedding boards on Pinterest. Before long, we finally meet the man of our dreams, we fall in love, we get engaged, and now what? Now it’s time for the real work to begin! It’s time to plan a wedding!
Finally, it's our chance to make all of our childhood fantasies a reality.
However, there’s one thing very few of us could have anticipated as bright-eyed young girls and that’s just how stressful planning a wedding can really be. There are just so many decisions to make and usually little time to make them. Throw in budget constraints and you’ve created the perfect storm. Brides and grooms have to decide on venues, decor, attire, music, food, invitations, and so much more, and usually your tastes are not always the same.
As the stress begins to mount, fights can break out between couples, souring what was supposed to be the happiest and most special day of your lives together. No one wants to spend their wedding day frustrated and unhappy, so here are someways to keep your relationship happy and healthy while wedding planning.
Make decisions together.
Perhaps your partner isn’t really into wedding planning or feels like they don’t have the time to do so, so they offer to let you make all the decisions yourself.Sounds like a dream come true, right? Not so fast. Because wedding planning can be stressful and time consuming, you want to make sure that you aren’t bearing the burden alone or your might end up feeling resentful, tired, and stressed out. Wedding planning is best conducted as a team so try to share the burden as evenly as possible. If your partner doesn’t want to be as involved as you, that’s okay, just be sure to communicate with each other throughout the process and agree upon things before any final decisions are made.
No matter how much you love each other or how much you have in common, you’re bound to disagree on some things. Maybe your partner always imagined having a band at the wedding, but you wanted a DJ. Decide what aspects of the wedding mean the most to you and compromise on some of the things that don’t matter so much. Remember that this day is about the BOTH of you and you want your partner to feel as happy as you do, even if that does mean agreeing to let him have his band.
Agree on a budget - early.
Getting married can be expensive-very expensive. Once you begin to plan your wedding, you might just be surprised how quickly the costs add up and if you and your partner are not 100% clear about expectations, problems will quickly arise.Finances and budgets can be a particularly delicate topic for some people, causing plenty of stress and plenty of arguments, so be sure to set down and agree upon a budget early. Be sure that both of you agree on what you’re willing to spend on each aspect of the wedding such as the dress, the venue, the food, and any entertainment and track any expenses in a spreadsheet. If both parties are clear on budget, you’re more likely to trust your partner to make financial decisions if you can’t.
Be sure to make some time for each other-minus wedding plans.
Wedding planning can quickly consume you and your partner’s lives if you let it. To avoid this common trap, set aside some time each week or each month (whatever you both agree upon) and make it completely wedding-talk free. Plan a date night or a weekend get-away and focus on each other. Have some fun and remember why you love this person so much in the first place. Keep the romance alive and cherish the person that means the most to you. This special bonding time will help keep the feelings strong and with a clear head, you’ll be better equipped to approach wedding plans the next day.
Spend some time with your friends as well.
While quality time together is important, it’s also equally important that you make time to spend with your friends and family while wedding planning-sans the planning, of course. While it’s okay to bounce ideas off of your most trusted confidants and ask for some help from time to time, you want to make sure that you’re nourishing this relationship as well as our friendships can be a great buffer for stress. Having fun or relaxing with friends and family can leave you feeling refreshed, happier, and healthier which can positively impact your relationship with your fiancé in turn.
Remember why you're planning this wedding in the first place.
It can be incredibly easy to get hung up on the glitz and glam of the ceremony and reception. Suddenly, you find that both of you are more focused on the party than your own relationship. Fights break out over the silliest of things-the cake flavor, the invitation style, the decor. You’ve become so focused on throwing the perfect party that you’ve forgotten that it wouldn’t exist if you two didn’t love each other in the first place. When the stress of wedding planning gets to be too much, step back and remember what brought you here.Your wedding is a celebration of you and your love for each other. It’s not about your guests or about pleasing your parents. Once you remember this, the little details won’t seem to matter as much and planning your event will be less stressful.
Say “thank you” and “I love you.”
Your partner needs to know how much they mean to you and if you spend most of your time arguing, they’re bound to feel hurt. While the stress is going to take its toll, leaving your exhausted and irritable, don’t forget about how your partner might be feeling as well. Take the time to remind them how much everything they’re doing means to you. Say “thank you,” when they clean up the house or mow the lawn while you went shopping for a dress and always, always remind them how much you love them.
At the end of the day, as long as you remember what really matters your wedding will be a happy and joyous occasion and so will your engagement, no matter how much your friends and family may tell you it might be otherwise.