The Wizard's Patient Intake Form

Patient Information Name:  FIRST NAME the  ADJECTIVE ,  ROYAL TITLE of  PLACE and  PLURAL NOUN Estimated time of death: When the  PLURAL NOUN  PLURAL VERB at  TIME OF DAY Gender:  ADJECTIVE  NOUN Emergency contact:  CELEBRITY NAME Concerns and Symptoms - Please describe, in brief, the problem for which you wish assistance from the wizard. My  NOUN has been  VERB ENDING IN 'ING' since last  NAME OF A HOLIDAY. At first I wasn't worried, but then it started leaking  NOUN  ADVERB.  PERSONS NAME recommended your potions after you helped them with their  COLOR  BODY PART. Terms and Conditions Upon your (distant and eventual) death and in payment for any and all services rendered, your body will be posthumously delivered to the wizard's workshop. We guarantee your remains will be  PAST TENSE VERB with respect, though by that time it is unlikely you will notice or care what we do with the meatsuit you are  VERB ENDING IN 'ING' in presently.