, an up-and-coming, fresh-faced, idealistic reporter with their eye on the big job as assistant to the regional editor. To prove yourself to your boss LEAST FAVOURITE POLITICIAN and get the gig, you decide to chase a tip for a big scoop at WEIRDEST PRESS CONFERENCE LOCATION. Hoku’s “Perfect Day” plays as you walk over in the perfect outfit. But when you get there, you run into MOST ANNOYING SOURCE, a professional YOUR DREAM CAREER. While making small talk, you start talking about LAST NARWHAL DEBATE and you get so distracted by your strong emotions that you miss out on the story. You’re furious! You can’t believe this attractive yet annoying stranger has derailed your professional ambitions! Your boss, LEAST FAVOURITE POLITICIAN tells you he’s giving the assistant to the regional editor job to someone else because you clearly don’t have what it takes. Hillary Duff’s “Come Clean” plays as you look sadly at the rain pouring outside your window.
The next day, ready to prove yourself, you decide to fly to the 2024 conference on A SKILL/GOAL TO ACCOMPLISH IN 2024 in LOCATION YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO IN 2024 to land the story and get that promotion. But on the way to the airport, you see a FAVOURITE ANIMAL FROM A STORY on the side of the road. He’s injured! You ask your Uber driver to stop and jump out of the car to see if you can help. Someone else appears in your peripheral vision— it’s MOST ANNOYING SOURCE! Together, you rescue the FAVOURITE ANIMAL, but just as you release it back into the wilds, your hands brushing against one another, and you realize you’re almost late for your flight! You hurry back to your Uber and step on it. Rusted Root’s “Send me on my way” blasts through the radio as you rush to your gate just as they announce last call. Out of breath, you collapse into your seat, only to be told you’ve been upgraded — a pleasant surprise. The airline agent PLAYED BY ROWAN ATKINSON leads you to your seat while wondering aloud how awful it must be to travel alone on Valentine’s Day. You put your bags in the overhead and look at the person sitting next to you and realize it’s MOST ANNOYING SOURCE — they’re on the same flight!
You try to ignore them and buy carbon credits on your phone to off-set the flight emissions, but MOST ANNOYING SOURCE sees you doing this and tells you the credits are just another greenwashing scam. You start fighting about Taylor Swift’s private jet habits. “Why are you even on this flight?” you ask. They confess that they’re on their way to LOCATION to pursue their dream of SKILL YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH , because they want to learn how to live and love again after getting their heart broken. Suddenly you realize that fighting with this person was the most fun you’ve had all week. You don’t hate them— it’s a different emotion. Could it be … love? Vanessa Carleton, A Thousand Miles rings out from a phone behind you. You look down and notice your matching CURRENT FOOTWEAR and both start to laugh. They look into your eyes and say, FAVOURITE READER COMMENT. You lean in for your first kiss. The pilot, played by Nikki Minaj, winks at the camera as the plane takes off. You feel LAST EMOJI
Screen Fades with Carly Rae Jepsen's “I really, really like you”/ Counting Crow’s “Accidentally in love”
