Good morning and thanks so much to the Society for the Improvement of ADJECTIVE PLURAL NOUN for agreeing to meet with us today. We sent our deck as a/n ADJECTIVE read ahead but for anyone who didn’t have time to look through that, we’ll ADVERB summarize who we are and what we do. We are NPL, and we work at the intersection of NOUN and NOUN to improve benefits delivery to vulnerable families in the US. Our goal is to help NUMBER families with children under the age of NUMBER over the next NUMBER years. We plan to do this as a series of design or delivery SPORTING EVENTS , where we will VERB with families and program workers and bring their PLURAL NOUN straight to the doorstep of the people who shape policy: FAMOUS POLITICIAN CELEBRITY, and FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Once we’ve secured their support, we know we can persuade some of our toughest opponents: MUSICIAN, ATHLETE, and POLITICIAN who have all gone on record as saying that it’s more important to improve PLURAL NOUN than families. To them we say: SILLY PHRASE. We are VIRTUE, VIRTUE, and UNFAVORABLE CHARACTERISTIC and we don’t give up.
Now, for the ask. We know that you are going to feel EMOTION about this and we do too. We’ve done the rough justice and broke NUMBER pencils and NUMBER spreadsheets to get there, but are confident that with your help, we can get everyone aligned around this ADJECTIVE issue by FUTURE DATE. If there are tax credits for PLURAL NOUN , why not for children? If there are subsidies for RANDOM OBJECT, why not for child care? And if Clarence Thomas can sail on NUMBER foot yacht to GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION, we think that people deserve paid leave to take care of themselves and their families. All we need from you is NUMBER dollars, in any currency as long as it’s cash or crypto, delivered to a Dumpster behind CHAIN RESTAURANT in CITY. Your contact there will be SOMEONE IN THE LAB. They go by the codename WEIRD CODENAME and you’ll know them by the Scarefrog tattoo on their BODY PART. Once the drop is made, we’ll ADVERB set our plan into motion. We promise you won’t regret this. FAMOUS CATCHPHRASE.
